What (NOT) To Do At the Airport

At the airport everyone expects their loved ones and it’s a true outbreak of emotions. At the Arrivals gate… ‘cause the Departures have a different range of emotions, some stronger than others. If you make time to watch those who meet there, especially after many years, it’s a show you don’t get to see often.

at the airport

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Other than those affected by emotion from one side or the other, there are those who travel for business purposes, bored and always in a hurry. Like those that cut the front of the line at security check, claiming their plane takes off in 3 minutes. Then you see them enjoying a cup of coffee and a croissant waiting for the same flight as you.

Below there are a few recommendations for those flying for business, those corporate folks looking with contempt at the leisure travelers.

If you’re waiting at the Arrivals:

  • Write on the tablet (a sheet of paper is kind of old school) the name of a famous person and watch the faces of the people around you, some may even ask when they arrives;
  • Don’t sit in the front row all cuddled up like lining up at a concert for 4 hours;
  • When someone asks “Bertlo, is that you?” – don’t answer yes, no matter how much you wish to this, the man may be in a hurry.

At the Departures gate:

  • You should know exactly where is the airport, not play the detective role at the last minute;
  • Don’t block the stairs or the escalators, there are people in a hurry and you don’t want to get in their way;
  • Online check-in is always a good idea. Some companies will make you do it at one of the check-in kiosk;
  • If you chose the online check-in and you don’t have a copy of your ticket, a print screen of your email/app may come in handy when you have no data transfer on your phone and the stars misaligned. You’d also have to make sure you have enough phone battery when trying to scan the barcode, dooh;
  • If you can, bring just a carry-on bag to gain some time at arrival;
  • If you still have luggage, take a picture of the ticket in case it gets lost;
  • Don’t get drunk, you risk not being allowed on the plane;
  • Don’t take any “errands” in the form of a small parcel without knowing what’s in it. If it’s “flour”, I wish I can see you explaining to the security team how the bag belongs to a friend;
  • Careful not to leave those piggies out loose or mismatched socks in case you need to take the shoes off;
  • Don’t make bomb jokes, explosives or countdown display on your laptop, under no circumstances;
  • Don’t wear a Bomb shirt (not even if it’s a Sex Bomb) and don’t wear your underwear on top of your pants unless you are Superman;
  • According to flight duration you should carry an external charger that lasts at least twice the flight. If you miss the flight, you don’t want to also lose connection and usually there is quite a fight over the few power plugs in the airport;
  • Don’t try to sleep, not even when it seems you have enough time until the flight (or connection). Your nap may turn into full night sleep and you’ll miss the flight;
  • Don’t get anxious, no matter how crowded it gets;
  • Don’t play on your phone and walk at the same time. You will collide with another distracted person like you;
  • When the music is too loud you may think no one notices if you pass an innocent fart. The music is only in your headphone, everyone else can hear it. Too late, the hurricane left the shore;
  • In the lounge make sure you don’t watch your movie on speaker no matter how funny is the dancing panda and also keep your phone conversations private;
  • If you get bored and don’t have anything to do, work on your bucket list;
  • If you are the part of some corporate dream team, don’t let the whole shuttle bus or lounge enjoy the latest office gossip. Without exception, out of all the stories I have heard so far, none were good things… mu ha ha we laughed so hard when that accounting girl didn’t know how to open a macro.

Don’t engage into an argument with the airport staff, no matter if you are right or not.

If you are the one arriving, don’t get stuck on the belt bringing the luggage, ‘because you will block everyone in that perimeter. If you stand at a convenient distance, everyone gets to spot their luggage and you have less chances to slip an “elbow” to the person picking up in the same time.

Read here what (not) to do on a plane.

Good luck getting all emotional!

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