You Can’t Change Me

Be very careful on New Year’s Eve, you will end up making a lot of resolutions to change, well just a common human defect. The good part is that some even achieve their resolutions.


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If you are a manager state out loud: I cannot change people. No, I don’t mean changing them with other people or among themselves, and, yes, I’m talking to you, Mighty Chief who bless our existence. I am referring to changing their behavior. No one can change you, only you can change, and for this to happen several planets need to align.

Start from the idea that there is no reason to change people. It’s like making a penguin turn into an eagle, just because you know it’s possible. It doesn’t work, neither physically, nor mentally.

What can you do though, is to influence people to an extent that they will want change. If you can make them understand that a radical change will contribute to their development, you have a greater chance of success.

Generally speaking, reluctance to change is very powerful due to the fact people feel ok-ish and comfortable just the way they are. In extreme cases, when a person reaches the “under the bridge” level, both figuratively and literally, he/she will realize they reached the bottom and need to change in order to get past it.

If the activity negatively impacts the person’s performance or the company, the need to change grows even larger. The most important step is to realize you have to change something in your behavior and what are the reasons to do it.

Don’t try to change people, but their behavior, thus the result will turn out as expected.

What questions can you use to awaken the will to change in a reluctant person:

  • Where is he/she right now versus his/her objectives?
  • What happened in the past with the objectives, why weren’t they met? What were the key drop out moments;
  • How much do they wish to achieve that particular something? Many times, motivation is very high in the beginning, but as things tend to get difficult, questions such as “why do I need this?” and the excuses fabrication grows stronger.

Change is a continuous process which, willingly or not, it occurs eventually in your life, but it’s best to acknowledge it and steer it in the right direction.

Think about how you’ve changed during the past 10, 15 or 20 and so years… for sure you got your answer by now, it doesn’t  matter if the change was for the better or worse.

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” Leo Tolstoy

Everything around you is changing, from seasons to the last smartphone apps update. You can’t sit still!

Good luck changing!

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