Placing the Blame Doesn’t Do Any Good

We are so good at placing the blame on others that some of us may even turn into Blame Game Coaches. We have reached such a level of know-how that we reach proficiency in blaming everybody else.

blame

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Let me tell you a thing it may have never occurred to you: you can’t influence the past. WOW, isn’t this something!

Don’t tell me that you never had some customer complaining and you tried to place the blame on a colleague… especially on someone from another department. Don’t tell me that, because it won’t hold!

Those people in the Sales department would even ‘Sell their own mother!’, Production never meets a DEADline, Logistics always point the finger at the shipping companies, the Millenials from Customer Care are out of this world and Billing can’t even issue a proper invoice. Well, we are even now, everyone is placing the blame on everyone else. The poor customer doesn’t have anything to do with all this; he/she only wishes to receive “merely” what they paid for. It really doesn’t matter whether Johnny or Jane are to blame, it doesn’t.

It’s very easy to point the finger at those who didn’t fulfill their duties towards yourself, but this won’t help in improving your relationship with them – on the contrary. By pointing it at someone else, you try to protect yourself and thus you avoid to take on the responsibility. In other words, if (each time) it’s not your fault, but the others’, it’s very likely you don’t wish to change anything – you didn’t do anything wrong, right?!

What can you so you don’t… make reproaches:

  • Don’t make reproaches. I gave you something to consider. It’s like telling you that in order to be fit you need to go to the gym… guess what?… it is…;
  • When you feel the urge to raise that finger, don’t! Put your hand in your pocket and take five. Or more. Think about the better use of those reproaches;
  • Stay away from the emotional part no matter how hard things feel;
  • Imagine you might also be wrong;
  • Think about what can you do from now on, as from now backwards there is nothing to be done. Other than delivering fresh reproaches, of course;
  • Try to enjoy what you have, don’t blame anyone for what is missing.

I am not even close to suggesting that, in a relationship, when something is not working – it’s only the man’s fault; maybe it’s something he is (not) doing for a long time and he doesn’t even wish to change, in spite of all her reproaches. For example, hypothetically, she tells him to fix something in the house – and then, she pulls the same reproaches every time she remembers he didn’t fix that yet. When a man says he’ll do something – he will, doesn’t need to be reminded every six months that he didn’t.

“To err is human. To blame someone else is politics.” Hubert H. Humphrey

There is a very big difference between taking on responsibility and blaming yourself for something, so choose what suits you better. Getting back to politicians approach, focus on what you are doing/did, not on what others aren’t doing.

In the end, I don’t want to blame you for not coming here every week, I am just sayin’ this is really not the way to go about it.

Good luck succeeding!

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