Don’t Yell!

You can talk, NOT yell and still share your point of view. No matter if you are a teacher, a parent, a manager or a cashier, you cannot earn respect by using force.

yell

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It’s very likely that some employees will not fulfill their daily duties, but when you start shouting – especially if you do that in front of the whole group – you do yourself a huge disservice; your authority starts shaking slowly, but steadily. 

The moment you go after them at the first mistake, be it real or not, the first effect is to activate their self defense mechanisms and implicitly their proactivity will be reduced or gone all together. Not to mention they will start conspiring in order to protect themselves from you, so don’t be surprised when they talk behind your back.   

They first feel humiliated, and then the self-esteem decreases and you quickly turn them into your enemies – which also may trigger some aggressiveness. Needless to add that a hostile work environment doesn’t lead to anything good. Also, productivity cannot remain at a high level; out of fear of being scolded they might slow the pace. 

If we are talking about education and yelling at kids/pupils/students, all you do is inhibit them and get the reverse effect: the loud ones will become louder and the more sensitive ones will shut down and feel guilty for something they didn’t do. Only a hysterical teacher (unfortunately, the women teachers tend to be more prone to yelling) can try to manage some kids by misuse of decibels and emotional abuse. 

When you are nervous and yell at your people, they will quickly get accustomed to the noise and shortly, all you have left is the noise and getting ignored. The more you shout, the faster you destroy the team moral. In the long run, such behavior will turn against you. I am not talking here about sports discipline or military culture (the genuine culture, not the one dictated by a dumb sergeant), where vocal motivation may have spectacular results if put to good use. 

If the boss or someone else yells at you, try to remain calm. Don’t respond with the same tonality, try to understand the emotional state that led to this condition (even if it’s not an excuse) and stay implacable – show an attitude that demands a more respectful tone. In some cases it helps a lot if your answer is delivered when the shouter is already calm/changed disposition – even though this may not happen during the same day. 

I don’t think that your workplace allows such a manner of treating your subordinates, colleagues, students; so your behavior shows how much you care for the rules and the people around you.

Yelling doesn’t make you better, but weaker through the use of formal power on people supposedly less strong than you.

Good luck succeeding!

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