You Teach Others How to Treat You

By applying a simple principle- if you treat me right I shall treat you the same – it’s mainly your choice to which extent you allow other people to treat you right or wrong.

treat you

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Depending on how you let them act, as of the first conversation, you will get the same treatment in the long-term – even when we talk about bosses with an inappropriate conduct towards everybody else. You can’t change them, I know, but you can prove a point, though you should not expect miracles to happen overnight. Sometimes change does happen as of the beginning, other times it takes a lot for the results to be noticeable and sometimes there is no outcome at all…

There is a sort of delimitation between what is acceptable and what’s not, no matter who is your interlocutor. Now… if the manager comes over to your office and tells you there is a project due next week and you say it’s unacceptable, well… this approach may not really work. We are of course, talking about a certain behavior towards a person that is clearly inadequate, not about having a different opinion, which you can claim is insufferable simply because is different than yours.

The same way you learnt biking, a profession or French, you can also learn to teach others how to treat you.

The first step is mandatory: treat everyone in the same manner you wish to be treated. You cannot yell at them and to claim it is unfair for them to yell at you… you should not aim for the winning title at the shouting competition either.

When you speak your mind, hopefully people will notice how intelligent you are and so you get to earn a reputation and their trust. As much as you respect yourself, the same respect you’ll get in return.

If you notice some behavior you want to discourage, you can tell that person (preferably the next day so you cool off a bit and making sure you don’t start an awkward conversation in front of others): “I wish you wouldn’t say you can’t rely on me in front of my co-workers as you did during yesterday’s meeting. You know very well that the error was more of an exception and I will do my best not to do it again. Nonetheless, if it does happen, please consider to have a direct conversation with me privately.” The person involved should understand that a certain behavior bothers you, that there is a line you are not willing to cross and he/she has to change the approach.

Being over-polite will always help as opposed to being thoughtless and inconsiderate, even if these are not perfect antonyms; however integrity will never disappoint. Even when you pull something nasty you still need to take credit for it, bear the consequences and move on, not hide the dirt under the rug.

Consistency is one of the most valued qualities and will help you build other people’s trust in you. If you say a thing and do another, no one will keep listening/respecting you.

The same way you respect yourself, so you shall gain other people’s respect. It takes two to tango, otherwise it’s a one person show and maybe you are not needed anymore. Nothing is really mandatory, not even the current workplace, the relationship with a family member or with someone that doesn’t make you feel valued.

Good luck building your self-esteem!

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